I will always care about you.  You were, you are, so perfect, we clicked so well.  What we gave each other is rare, and so special, I should never have taken it for granted.

But I did, things poisoned my mind, about two years ago, then I thought too much and it got worse.  I once told you I was afraid I'd leave you to persue other things but I loved you and so had to stay, I feel exactly the same way now but I have to do this or I'll never be comfortable loving anyone.

The only times in my life I've really felt like myself are around you.  I have to learn to be me always, I cannot be satisfied with my life until I'm really me.  I want to feel like a man when you return, not a loser boy.

Every time I thought about leaving you was because of this, not because I didn't love you.  What's sad is I only realised this when it started to hurt, you were right. 

I can't write anything deeper, or we'll start to cry, again.

I will never stop caring.

I still care about you immensely.  I'm so grateful for the time we had and all the special things we shared.

The one thing I know to be true:  I'll never, I'll never, wherever I go, I'll never finish loving you.

You'll always be my best friend.

...and we're back to this.

You've probably forgotten that this thing even exists.  Hmm.

Ugh, this is so angsty and teenage-diary-worthy and it's going to be all over the place.

I worry that I love you more than you love me, and not just in a capacity to love way.  I want us to love each other equally - I think that's really important in a relationship.  I'm not going to love you any less, nobody could ask that of me.  If I could, believe me, I would match your love level and things would be great, but as it is, I can't, so here I am being all angsty about it.

You've been so sure about us at times and at other times, you've been on the brink of running away.  I don't understand that part of you.  At least twice before, you have brought up the subject of marrying me... you've probably forgotten the things we discussed.  Yeah, it was a long time ago, maybe the second year of uni.  Yet you've also thought about leaving me on more than one occasion.  Sure, I can't say that I haven't entertained the idea of leaving you, but I've never really wanted to.  I've thought about it but never have I seriously put any real solidity into doing it, not even the thought of doing it.  There's never been an ultimatum in my mind, never the intention of ever doing it.  Point is, I've never thought about it as seriously as you have and that hurts.

It hurts because I'm a girl and I think, "why doesn't he love me?".  I know we both know that love isn't enough and that your considering leaving doesn't diminish your love at all, but do you see what I mean about loving each other equally?

You asked me, a couple of months before you came over if we'd still be together.  I worried.  You assured me that there was nothing to worry about.  Yet you told me before you left that you were contemplating leaving.  I don't know now what happened then.  Did you lie?  Had you decided once again that you wouldn't leave and were looking for reassurance that I wasn't having any second thoughts?  There are so many unanswered questions - more than just these - and I am aching just thinking about these things.

I know they're in the past and I shouldn't even give them a second of my time, but I can't help thinking about it sometimes.  I know you love me, and I love you.  I'm just worried, I guess, because maybe you're not always being 100% honest and open with me, and I'm trying, oh, you know I'm trying so hard to be open and honest with you.






My darling, when you're done fixing yourself up, when you're through with this metamorphosis, when you're ready, I'm still going to be here, waiting for you.  I love you and I'm not budging until you take me with you or tell me to leave.

You're everything to me.  I love you so much, I'm sorry if it doesn't always seem so.  But yes, Ev, you are the one for me.

Study hard and I promise we'll have an awesome holiday in less than a week!!

I never loved nobody fully
Always one foot on the ground
And by protecting my heart truly
I got lost in the sounds
I hear in my mind
All these voices
I hear in my mind all these words
I hear in my mind all this music

And it breaks my heart
And it breaks my heart
And it breaks my heart
It breaks my heart

And suppose I never ever met you
Suppose we never fell in love
Suppose I never ever let you kiss me so sweet and so soft
Suppose I never ever saw you
Suppose we never ever called
Suppose I kept on singing love songs just to break my own fall
Just to break my fall
Just to break my fall
Break my fall
Break my fall

All my friends say that of course its gonna get better
Gonna get better
Better better better better
Better better better

I never love nobody fully
Always one foot on the ground
And by protecting by heart truly
I got lost
In the sounds
I hear in my mind
All these voices
I hear in my mind all these words
I hear in my mind
All this music
And it breaks my heart
It breaks my heart

I hear in my mind all of these voices
I hear in my mind all of these words
I hear in my mind all of this music

Breaks my
Heart
Breaks my heart

I still can't believe how long we've been going out.

I still love you so much.

You still own my heart.

I'm not sure that any of that will change for a long time.

s2

http://international.tiffany.com/Engagement/Item.aspx?sku=14673814

I love thee like pudding.
If thou wert pie, I'd eat thee.


--s2--

I love my baby one million!  We are awesome once again, let's always be brilliant and never let things fall below mnthetic.

hearts and love!